SOCIETAL PERSPECTIVE
Besides the evolution of priorities from marriage and family to having fun and prioritizing oneself, technology and the media have also played an important role in the shift from traditional courtship to modern-day dating. Instead of finding a socially acceptable and financially stable partner, the increased prevalence in sexual experimentation and free love has led to the casual hook up culture, one night stands, and friends with benefits. Moreover, with more men and women prioritizing their personal needs and goals, old-fashioned courtship and dating have transformed into more modern dating methods and attitudes.
LOSS OF CONNECTION & MEANING
In this ever-changing world, social structures are changing the impact love can bring. Slowly the old traditions of dating have been left behind. This can lead to a loss of connection and meaning in relationships. Although the new freedom of choice came about, many feel confused without the structure of a traditional relationship. This is known as Anomie. Anomie is defined as “personal unrest, alienation, and uncertainty that comes from a lack of purpose or ideals” (Merriam-Webster). As times have changed, so have the traditional dating norms. For example, there’s now higher gender equality in society and this causes changes to traditional norms. Now, many people are left in a state of uncertainty and question how they should partake in a relationship or how to make their partner feel valued. From here, there are generally two approaches that are being taken. One, continue the traditional social norms and connect with that structure, or two, create their own purpose and roles in a relationship to understand each other.
THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT
The rise of the feminist movement in the 1970s resulted in changing personal priorities for countless women (Rahoumi).For instance, rather than searching for a man that would provide for the family, many women sought a degree instead. Focus was placed on obtaining a good education and working towards a future career, which was a vast shift in priorities from the housewives and stay-at-home mothers of the 20th century. With more and more women going to school and working, they no longer have to rely on a man to provide for their wellbeing or for their families. Due to these new gender norms, marriage and children no longer aligned with the priorities, goals, and dreams of many women, which ultimately led to the rise of casual dating and relationships.
CONTRACEPTIVES
In addition, the increasing popularity and use of birth control in the 1970s led to the societal increase in casual, premarital sex. The world’s first birth control pill, Enovid, was developed in 1960. However, women didn’t have free, equal, and safe access to birth control until 1972, when the Supreme Court legalized the use of birth control for both single and married women (Rahoumi). With legal access to birth control naturally follows an increase in sexual liberation because more women were able to safely participate in casual sex. Moreover, increased knowledge regarding HIV/AIDS and other STDs in the 1980s resulted in an increase in the sale and use of condoms for safe sex (Rahoumi).
CHANGING DATING ATTITUDES AND ROLES
In today's dating culture, changing attitudes and roles for both men and women have resulted in a deviation from old fashioned dating rules and procedures. For example, in recent years, it has become more normalized for women to make the first move and message a guy first. In addition, instead of being picked up from her house, it is common for both parties of a date to meet in a common, public area, for safety and convenience purposes (Coleman). Moreover, it has become more common for a couple to split the bill during a date or pay their date back using an online cash-transferring app such as Venmo or Zelle. Also, men have taken a step back in regards to planning the entirety of a date, instead opting to plan a date or activity together or let the woman decide. In general, dates have become more casual and often involve so-called hangouts with friends or other individuals. Moreover, with the increasing prevalence and normalization of the hookup culture, it is no longer seen as taboo or promiscuous to kiss or initiate further sexual activity in the first few dates (Coleman). After a successful date, it has become normal for either party to reach out and plan additional dates, rather than always waiting for the guy to make the next move. Contrarily, after an unsuccessful date, it is common for both parties to remain friends with no harsh feelings or bad blood between them. With men and women more aware of their needs, desires, dreams, goals, and priorities, couples aren’t afraid to spend more time getting to know each other before settling down and making the relationship official, with each other and also with the law.
INTERESTING FACTS
IN 2020, ABOUT 69.23 MILLION WOMEN WERE EMPLOYED. IN 2019, 57.4% OF ALL WOMEN PARTICIPATED IN THE LABOR FORCE.
MEN’S LABOR FORCE PARTICIPATION, WAS 69.2% IN 2019
(Statista)
IN 2019, 45%OF WOMEN AGES 25 TO 64 HELD A BACHELOR’S DEGREE AND HIGHER, COMPARED WITH 11% IN 1970.
IN SPRING 2021, 59.5% OF COLLEGE STUDENTS IN THE UNITED STATES WERE WOMEN, WHILE 40.5% WERE MEN.
3,805,978 WOMEN APPLIED TO COLLEGE FOR THE 2021-2022 ACADEMIC YEAR COMPARED TO ONLY 2,815,810 MEN APPLICANTS.
(Erudera College News)
SOME 44% OF NON-PARENTS AGES 18 TO 49 SAY IT IS NOT TOO OR NOT AT ALL LIKELY THAT THEY WILL HAVE CHILDREN SOMEDAY
A MAJORITY (56%) OF NON-PARENTS YOUNGER THAN 50 WHO SAY IT’S UNLIKELY THEY WILL HAVE CHILDREN SOMEDAY SAY THEY JUST DON’T WANT TO HAVE KIDS.
(Brown)
STAY-AT-HOME MOMS AND DADS ACCOUNT FOR ABOUT ONE-IN-FIVE U.S. PARENTS.
THE SHARE OF MOMS STAYING AT HOME DECREASED TO 27% IN 2016.
(Livingston)
CITATIONS
“Anomie Definition & Meaning.” Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anomie.
Brown, Anna. “Growing Share of Childless Adults in U.S. Don't Expect to Ever Have Children.” Pew Research Center, 19 Nov. 2021, https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/11/19/growing-share-of-childless-adults-in-u-s-dont-expect-to-ever-have-children/.
Coleman, Kali. “13 Old-Fashioned Dating Rules No One Follows Anymore.” Best Life, Galvanized Media, 21 Feb. 2020, https://bestlifeonline.com/40-old-fashioned-dating-rules/.
“Employed Women - Number in the U.S. 2020.” Statista, 25 Jan. 2021, https://www.statista.com/statistics/192378/number-of-employed-women-in-the-us-since-1990/.
Erudera College News. “Women Outnumber Men in US Colleges .” Erudera College News, 10 Sept. 2021, https://collegenews.org/women-outnumber-men-in-us-colleges-nearly-60-of-students-in-2020-21-were-women/.
Livingston, Gretchen. “About 1 in 5 U.S. Moms and Dads Are Stay-at-Home Parents.” Pew Research Center, 14 Aug. 2020, https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/09/24/stay-at-home-moms-and-dads-account-for-about-one-in-five-u-s-parents/.
Rahoumi, Tamara. “25 Ways Dating Has Changed in the Last 50 Years.” Stacker, 7 Feb. 2020, https://stacker.com/stories/3907/25-ways-dating-has-changed-last-50-years.
Wynne, Griffin, and Isabel Calkins. “6 Relationship Experts Explain Why Dating Today Is so Difficult.” Elite Daily, 27 July 2021, https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/why-is-dating-so-hard.
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