HOOKUP CULTURE
A hookup is a sexual encounter with a partner, yet it’s established there is no commitment between the individuals. These encounters became more prevalent in the 1920s when cars and new forms of entertainment were arising. Alternatively, to the traditional social norm of courting, adolescents were able to discover their sexualities in a more freeing way. Society didn’t have an extreme conservative mindset like many years prior. The times were changing, the environment was changing, and so were the thoughts and ideas of adolescents. It was a new up-and-coming age where old norms were left in the past and new experiences were being discovered. Throughout time, hookup culture has become more socially accepted among society. Data suggest that between “60 percent and 80 percent of North American college students have had some sort of hook-up experience” (American Psychological Association). This is reasonable due to the earlier development age of exploring intimacy.
WHY HOOKUP?
“The popular media most frequently characterizes hookup culture as a series of emotionless one-night stands” (Fessler). If the actions being taken by adolescents around the world are so nonstandard to what they really want then why do they do it? Millennials and Generation Z reveal a pattern of having trouble acknowledging their inner values. If they would be able to focus on their true self, then they could guide their behavior when it comes to romantic relationships. Essentially, “they’re loving out of alignment” (Solomon). Approaching casual sex today is a low risk and low investment cost. It’s a win-win situation for both people. There is no need to involve emotions, and if this hookup partner ends things, there is nothing to lose. However, if one person did slip up and develop feelings, immediately they’re vulnerable. Confronting the partner with emotion for them will make one sound clingy or even crazy. It’s like an “unspoken social code” (Fessler). One of the main reasons why they begin to develop an attachment is because of the ambiguity of a hookup. Beginning with analyzing encounters or actions. “Does he like me? He hasn’t texted in a day. Read this text. I’m so confused. He said he didn’t want anything, but kept asking to hang out.” (Fessler). It’s like a trap, they go in thinking it’s all an exciting experience, but in the end, only feel hurt. The one-sided attachment brings feelings of loneliness and unworthiness. Women and men find it easy to have casual hookups because it’s portrayed as part of teenage life, and everyone does it at least once.
EFFECTS OF THE HOOKUP CULTURE
The effortless nature of the hookup culture has resulted in mass confusion in the dating scene. Since the hookup culture is a stark contrast from traditional ideas of dating, courtship, and exclusive relationships, many individuals are left with more questions than answers regarding the invisible yet palpable boundaries in the hookup culture. For example, as bestselling author and relationship expert Susan Winter explained, “We find ourselves asking, 'Is this a date?', 'Are we a couple?', 'What are the rules?' 'What are the expectations?' 'Am I one of many?' 'Dare I text them first?' 'Is it OK to let them know I like them?' 'If I express a concern, will they dump me?” (Wynne and Calkins)
According to a study by the APA, 60-80% of college students have reported having had some sort of hookup experience.
HOOKUP CULTURE ON MENTAL HEALTH
Consequently, as much as it’s exciting and intriguing to participate in a hookup there can be negative effects on the mental health of the person. “In a study of 394 young adults followed across a university semester, those with more depressive symptoms and greater feelings of loneliness who engaged in penetrative sex hookups” (American Psychological Association). For many adolescents, it isn’t achievable to participate in this level of an intimate encounter and still have no strings attached. This attachment feeling comes from wanting immediate sexual desire but also a stable romantic relationship.“To attempt to separate emotions from sex is illogical, given that emotion intensely augments pleasure” (Fessler). Casual sexual encounters can lead a partner to hope for a romantic relationship as an outcome. However, for the other partner, it was only a brief sexual hookup with no feelings attached. This leaves the other individual hoping for more to feel only more lonely and hurt because of the new concept of casual sex. Uncommitted sex may actually leave more strings attached than anticipated.
CITATIONS
Fessler, Leah. “A lot of women don’t enjoy hookup culture—so why do we force ourselves to participate?” Quartz, 17 May 2016, https://qz.com/685852/hookup-culture/.
Garcia, Justin R. “Sexual Hook-up Culture.” Monitor on Psychology, American Psychological Association, Feb. 2013, https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/02/ce-corner.
Solomon, Alexandra. “What Hookup Culture Means for the Future of Millennial Love.” Psychotherapy Networker, 2020, https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/blog/details/726/what-hookup-culture-means-for-the-future-of-millennial
Wynne, Griffin, and Isabel Calkins. “6 Relationship Experts Explain Why Dating Today Is so Difficult.” Elite Daily, 27 July 2021, https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/why-is-dating-so-hard.