MEET SUSAN WINTER
Trusted Relationship Expert and Coach
Susan Winter is an internationally recognized best selling author and relationship expert. She has been working as a coaching professional since 2000, specializing in helping people find love, gain confidence, and resolve dating issues.
Interview with Susan Winter - Bestselling Author and Relationship Expert
MORE FROM SUSAN WINTER
SUSAN WINTER is a leading relationship expert and love coach who has helped over 5,000 people find and keep love. Through her books (Older Women/Younger Men, Allowing Magnificence, and Breakup Triage), Youtube Channel, television appearances, and podcasts, she offers advice on today's evolving forms of partnership, dating issues, relationship challenges, and personal empowerment.
MEET NICOLE RICHARDSON
LICENSED MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST
Based in Austin, Texas, Nicole Richardson has experience working with teenagers, adults, individuals, groups and families. Nicole Richardson specializes in helping individuals with relationship problems, overcoming trauma, and processing through negative life cycles. Committed to providing excellent care, Nicole Richardson embodies a direct, cognitive behavioral viewpoint. At her practice, Nicole Richardson offers individual sessions, couples work, family therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
INTERVIEW WITH NICOLE RICHARDSON
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
WHAT CONSTITUTES “DATING” NOW IN COMPARISON TO “DATING” BEFORE?
"This is a tricky word because it seems to mean different things to different people. It appears to me that for many people at this point, "dating" implies a relationship that is just shy of a commitment or just after the commitment. It suggests, 'this is new and I'm not sure what it is but I acknowledge this person is more than a hookup.'"
WHAT IS THE CONCEPT OF A “TALKING STAGE”?
"This term is also difficult to define.
This aggregate seems to be the first 1-3 dates when a lot of the relationship is via text or social media."
WHAT IS THE NUMBER 1 RED FLAG YOU HAVE OBSERVED IN TODAY’S DATING CULTURE?
"The paradox of choice. Vulnerability is difficult. With the advent of social media and the prevalence of dating apps, it is easier to move quickly to the next thing instead of taking the risk of vulnerability. Sadly, the result is a lot of people who are lonely and longing to connect, but they end up floating around waiting for someone to make it easy for them to open up."
HAS ONLINE DATING HELPED OR HARMED THE DATING CULTURE? THE SOCIETAL PERSPECTIVE OF DATING?
"Overall, I think it harmed the dating culture. It makes it too easy to cast someone off and move on to the next person and not have to be introspective or vulnerable. I think it has encouraged the hookup culture because it feels like you could have a casual encounter, not invest in that person, and just find someone new the next week. It has also meant that people feel free to say nasty things to strangers, like they troll on the internet and post mean things on YouTube and social media. It makes it feel as though there is no consequence for being disrespectful to another human. It also means that people don't interact as much in real life."
IS SOCIAL MEDIA AND TECHNOLOGY AN ADVANTAGE OR A DISADVANTAGE TO THE DATING CULTURE?
"I suppose both. In most cases, I see it as a disadvantage because you can see someone's curated social media persona and get a false sense that you know them, when you actually don't. But if someone is lying, it can in some situations (like cheating), allow you to see something they could have been hidden."
WHAT CONSTITUTES CHEATING DURING THIS MODERN ERA OF DATING?
"That is fluid and different in each relationship. With the trend of open relationships, people can decide what cheating means for them. If a couple discusses and agrees, that's great. Lots of problems come up when it's not discussed and each partner has a different definition."
DO YOU SEE THAT THERE IS MORE CHEATING AND INFIDELITY WITHIN YOUR CLIENTS DUE TO THE INCREASING PREVALENCE OF TECHNOLOGY?
"I would say that the definition of cheating is more complicated now than it was before technology. I'm not sure that there is more or less cheating but there are more opportunities for temptation than there were before. And there is more social pressure to appear desirable which can lead people to make choices that are not in their own best interests."
DID THE PANDEMIC HAVE A MORE POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE IMPACT ON EXISTING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS?
"From what I've seen overall it forced people to take long hard looks at themselves and their relationships. For those in broken or dysfunctional relationships, it made things much more difficult to ignore. For those who had work to do, the pandemic gave them an opportunity to dig in and really work to repair things."
CITATIONS
“NYC Relationship Expert - Susan Winter - Modern Dating Advice.” Susan Winter, 7 Aug. 2021, https://susanwinter.net/.
"Nicole Richardson Counseling". Austin, TX based therapist, 13 June 2020, https://nicolemrichardson.com/.
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